Getting Pantsed: Practical Joke or Sexual Assault?

I had this conversation with several people this week: is pantsing a harmless prank or sexual harrassment?

I had a training with my school district earlier this week and a high school administrator told a story about having to deal with a boy who got pantsed by another boy in PE class. He thought it was just a nuisance.

In shock, I replied, “That’s sexual harrassment!”

Laughing, he replied, “I wouldn’t call it that, it’s just boys being stupid and immature.”

“If my kid were the one whose pants got pulled down, I can tell you that I wouldn’t be okay with that. Not only is a kids pants being pulled down without his consent, what if his underwear come down, or they aren’t wearing any? What if someone else sees?”

The leader of the meeting started speaking again and the conversation ended. Guess what my daughter told me that afternoon?

She started the conversation with a question. “Is pantsing someone like sexual harrassment?”

What? I kept my cool and asked, “Why? What happened?”

She informed me that a boy in her PE class had been pantsed at the end of class and she saw him in his underwear and felt bad for him and embarrassed for having seen him that way.

“What do you think?” I asked. “Is it sexual harrassment?”

“I think so because he didn’t want his pants pulled down and I didn’t want to see him in his underwear.” She replied

“Then it is.” I agreed.

I reported it to her school and they assured me it would be dealt with. I hope they take it seriously before it escalates.

I read a report this week that sexual harrassment is the most prevalent form of bullying on middle and high school campuses.

A few days after that conversation, a student of mine informed me that she had lost faith in humanity. Of course I asked her to elaborate, which she did.

A boy she has known for awhile and lives near her gave her a ride home the day before. While driving he asked her if there was any chance she’d make out with him. She said no. The next morning, he asked if she needed a ride again. She said she did, and he asked if she’d be upset if he tried something with her. She told him she’d be mad. He refused to give her a ride and called her a name.

She was in shock that he would even ask her that after she told him no the first time.

I’m not shocked.

We see in the media how many men think that their aggressive, sexual behavior should be accepted by any woman they choose. (Of course it can go the other way too. Women can be the agressors, but thats statistically less likely to happen.)

My daughter told me once that instead if teaching people how to avoid getting assaulted, we should teach them not to​ assault others.

It’s too true.

Sexual harrassment needs to be stopped!