Author: admin

Before I had kids, I never realized what a difficult job it would be.

I was going to have perfect children who never did anything wrong, who always followed directions the first time. They would always make the best decisions and look out for others. They would never have to deal with low self worth or a negative self image. They would be outgoing, friendly, and successful in anything they tried.

I was wrong!

Kids are born selfish. All they care about is getting fed, getting held, having a clean diaper. And they know how to let you know when they’re unhappy with anything.

I quickly realized that as a parent, I had a tough road ahead. It would be my responsibility to raise them, shape them and guide them into becoming decent human beings.

It would be my job to fix hurts and help them see the consequences of their choices. That’s easy when they’re little and the hurts are physical, but as hey get older the pain they experience becomes more emotional and my job gets harder.

I wish I could wrap their hearts in bubble wrap to keep them from ever experiencing anything bad, but if I did that, it would also keep them from experiencing anything good.

As painful as it is to see my kids hurt and as much as I want to shield them from that, I care how my kids turn out. I know that growing can be painful, remember growing pains during growth spurts?

Growing can be painful and that sucks for both the child experiencing it and the parent watching.

I love my kids more deeply and fiercely than I ever thought possible. Seeing them in pain, pains me.

I wish there was an instruction manual that said when this happens, do and say this to make it better. I’ve looked for this book and I still haven’t found it. (If you find a copy let me know.)

What I’m learning though, is that my kids need me. I my not always say and do the right things, but I’m there for them. They can talk to me and I will listen, hopefully without judgement. I will do my best to guide them through whatever situation they are in.

Parenting is hard, but I care how they turn out.

Parenting is also the most rewarding job I’ve ever had.

I love my kids!

Let me start this post by stating that I am talking about specific people in this post related to the USA gymnastics scandal and a story from my own teenage years, please don’t assume I am talking about anyone other than those.

I have been watching the Larry Nassar case for the past few weeks, I thought everyone was. When I said something about it at work, not one person that I was talking to knew what I was talking about. It shocked me that more people weren’t concerned that a well-respected doctor had been allowed and enabled to molest girls for decades.

I said what I wanted to say in the work conversation and they moved on as if it wasn’t that big a deal, but it is.

This women’s lives were forever changed when that monster touched them. Then, as icing on the cake, the few who founs the courage to tell what happened to them weren’t believed.

When I was 15 years old, I was raped by my boyfriend. He pinned me down on a couch and forced himself on me.

Iwas humiliated, violated and devastated.

I didn’t tell.

Anyone.

I stayed with him. Out of fear. Out of embarrassment.

Because he stole my value, my worth.

I had been taught my whole life that as a female, my worth was tied into my virginity, and he stole that.

Months later, I broke down and confided in a friend who believed me and understood.  That gave me courage to eventually tell my mom. She told me that I needed to marry the guy since I’d had sex with him.

That messed me up and I talked to a school counselor, she had to report it to the police. The officer who took my statement told me that since I stayed with my abuser, they wouldn’t be forwarding the case for prosecution.

So many people let me down when I was raped, but I had a few heroes, a few people who gave me hope.

I will forever be grateful for those #HopeGivers who stood up in my life and became my hero.

In the Larry Nassar case, so many people let down these amazing women by not believing them, but finally, an incredible judge let them tell their story during the sentencing hearing through their impact statement.

Judge Rosemarie Aquilina gave almost 150 women, survivors, heroes, a voice.

It was incredible to watch as survivor after survivor read how their life had been impacted by Nassar.

I am thankful for all the heroes who listen and do something for victims, allowing them to regain, a piece of themselves that had been taken…

Their voice.

I love my family!

It’s been a while since I posted, does that mean this is no longer a weekly blog? I’m back on track now, I promise a new blog every Friday (or maybe Saturday, depending on my kids’ schedules.)

The past few weeks have been a great time for my family. The week after New year’s we went camping for a week, both kids tried new things and enjoyed their experiences, while I was sick with a cold and spent most of the time sleeping and coughing.

Then we came back to reality and had to get into the groove of school and work again.

My son convinced me to audition for a play in December and I got a part. He’s on tech crew so it has been a blast rehearsing with him there to critique me.

Soccer has been slow for my daughter, but it’s been fun to watch her train.

I have been enjoying my life again. Everything doesn’t feel like a chore right now. I don’t feel as though my head is barely above water, I’m on the shore, hanging out with my family, having fun.

I wish I could feel like this all the time, unfortunately I don’t know how long it will last. Anxiety and depression are on a vacation right now. They can stay gone forever, in my opinion.

I love my family and I always want them to know that I have fun with and enjoy spending time with them. I want them to know that taking care of them isn’t a chore to me.

I will always tell them how much they mean to me and how happy I am with them.

I pray that anxiety and depression stay away and I can always feel this good about my family and everything else.

My family is awesome!

I had this conversation with several people this week: is pantsing a harmless prank or sexual harrassment?

I had a training with my school district earlier this week and a high school administrator told a story about having to deal with a boy who got pantsed by another boy in PE class. He thought it was just a nuisance.

In shock, I replied, “That’s sexual harrassment!”

Laughing, he replied, “I wouldn’t call it that, it’s just boys being stupid and immature.”

“If my kid were the one whose pants got pulled down, I can tell you that I wouldn’t be okay with that. Not only is a kids pants being pulled down without his consent, what if his underwear come down, or they aren’t wearing any? What if someone else sees?”

The leader of the meeting started speaking again and the conversation ended. Guess what my daughter told me that afternoon?

She started the conversation with a question. “Is pantsing someone like sexual harrassment?”

What? I kept my cool and asked, “Why? What happened?”

She informed me that a boy in her PE class had been pantsed at the end of class and she saw him in his underwear and felt bad for him and embarrassed for having seen him that way.

“What do you think?” I asked. “Is it sexual harrassment?”

“I think so because he didn’t want his pants pulled down and I didn’t want to see him in his underwear.” She replied

“Then it is.” I agreed.

I reported it to her school and they assured me it would be dealt with. I hope they take it seriously before it escalates.

I read a report this week that sexual harrassment is the most prevalent form of bullying on middle and high school campuses.

A few days after that conversation, a student of mine informed me that she had lost faith in humanity. Of course I asked her to elaborate, which she did.

A boy she has known for awhile and lives near her gave her a ride home the day before. While driving he asked her if there was any chance she’d make out with him. She said no. The next morning, he asked if she needed a ride again. She said she did, and he asked if she’d be upset if he tried something with her. She told him she’d be mad. He refused to give her a ride and called her a name.

She was in shock that he would even ask her that after she told him no the first time.

I’m not shocked.

We see in the media how many men think that their aggressive, sexual behavior should be accepted by any woman they choose. (Of course it can go the other way too. Women can be the agressors, but thats statistically less likely to happen.)

My daughter told me once that instead if teaching people how to avoid getting assaulted, we should teach them not to​ assault others.

It’s too true.

Sexual harrassment needs to be stopped!